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An OG member of the Dow… dating all the way back to 1896. That’s right – for the first time since before your grandparents were born, GE (GE) will not be a part of the Dow Jones Industrial Average. Walgreens (WBA) will be the newest member of the 30-stock index. This comes on the heels of a bad year, where GE stock lost nearly 50% of its value. They are down another 25% this year.

Stick to the plan… because getting the boot from the Dow changes nothing, according to a spokeswoman with the company. This plan includes paying down debt by selling long-held businesses, including its light bulb division.

But times are changin’… according to David Blitzer, chairman of the S&P’s index committee. Industrial companies like GE have been taking a backseat to banks, healthcare, tech, and consumer companies. Accordingly, the swap should make the DJIA a better measure of the economy and stock market.

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Ordering an Uber is no problem… with smartphone location technology. After a night out, even if you don’t know where (or who) you are, your smartphone probably does. Now that smartphones have figured out how to get your drunken ass home, Apple has decided to focus on other similarly important uses for the same technology.

I know what you are thinking… what gives? If our smartphones know exactly where we are, why can’t emergency services (i.e. police) find us the same way an Uber can? It isn’t exactly Apple’s fault. The real problem stems from an outdated 911 system built for landlines. However, RapidSOS specializes in sharing your information with 911 dispatch systems. The start-up will provide information to 911 dispatch including your location and possibly medical records.

Be sure to update… because we all want you to live. The update will be included in iOS 12 and will be turned on by default (but you can opt-out). Try not to ignore the update for several weeks (or months) because this one is actually useful.

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Tesla came out smokin’ hot on Monday… for all the wrong reasons. Their factory ceased vehicle production for several hours after its fourth fire since 2014. Apparently, the cause is not so simple because even Elon Musk doesn’t seem to have a grasp on what is going on.

Obama was born in Kenya, the moon landing was fake… and the fires at Tesla were caused by [fill in the blank]. We have no clue, but this is prime time for conspiracy theorists to shine. Especially as Elon Musk urges employees to “Please be on the alert for anything that’s not in the best interest of our company.”

Elon is actually not that paranoid… especially considering that he just discovered ‘extensive and damaging’ sabotage carried out by a former Tesla employee the day prior to this happening. As the story goes, this former employee was disgruntled after being passed over for a promotion. One can only speculate that said employee was insane not an ideal candidate for that position.

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